Double dactyls

In response to a letter from Louise Halperin written entirely in verse, I wrote this on a postcard.

Poetry schmoetry
Ms Louise Halperin
Now writes her letters in
Poetic verse

If my reply were in
Hexadecameter
It would be longer, but
Certainly worse

In 1996 ‘Jesse Garon’ (that’s how he signed his posts) was posting a lot of “fully justified” articles to alt.religion.kibology — that is, with words chosen to make both left and right edges line up, assuming a proportional font. When he posted an un-justified poem, and justified its un-justifiedness on the grounds of its being a poem, I couldn’t resist the challenge.

Bibidy bibidy
'Jesse Garon'  [*]
W/o his MO is
Clearly a nut

Poetry ugly &
Unjustifiable
Awkward, etc.
He's in a rut

[*] You have to pronounce this “Quote Jesse Garon quote”.

[‘Jesse’ shouldn’t take this personally; it wouldn’t have been so MEEN if it weren’t for the constraint.]

Here’s one written Jan. 3, 1997 to welcome the new year.

Welcome to 1997

Higgledy piggledy
Newt Gingrich, congressman
lied and was caught, but that’s
part of the biz

Hyporemorsefully
taking the blame, he’s
expected to keep what’s
unWrightfully his

And one in honor of the early 2004 Pakistani operation against Al Qaeda, sort of.

Short Attention Span

Dibbleya doubleya
George Herbert Walker Bush
Has a son who wants to
Finish his dad’s

Incomplete business in
Mesopotamia
Leaving Bin Laden to
Islamabad.

One for Plorkwort.

Bithyty bathyty
Athelstan Spilhaus’s
gizmo appealed to
Wunsch, Worzel, and Munk.

Finding a sub using
bathythermography,
Columbus Iselin
hollers, “You’re sunk!”

For the 1st (and maybe the last) Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest, 19 March 2009:

Clarinet baronet
Hyacinthe E. Klose’s
system was praised from
Calcutta to Nome

Neo-acoustical
redesign of the keys
made the world laugh and shout,
“This thing’s the Boehm!”

(except Germany)

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